Published on July 17th, 2016 | by Tae0
My Baby Doesn’t Love Me
Bit of a dramatic title, but it’s one of the biggest things I struggled with when I first became a parent. With all my children, I’ve struggled with feelings of rejection as they grow and become more aware of the world around them. I know a lot of parents go through the same feelings, so I thought I’d share what I’ve learned.
My Baby Prefers The Other Parent
This is one I struggled with quite recently. My youngest daughter dotes on her daddy.
- Ill? Daddy
- Hurt? Daddy
- Tired? Daddy
You get the picture. It was a hard thing for me to grasp, as I’d spent all these months loving and doting on her, being the best mother I could be and she prefers her dad. If she was ill with a temperature, she’d scream and scream if I tried to hold her, push away from me trying to get to her father. It almost broke my heart. It started at about 6 months old and continued up until just recently (she’s just turned 1).
What I’ve learned about this situation is that children, even babies, will flip flop between who’s the “favourite” parent all the time. Sometimes this can last months, it doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. Your baby will come around to you again eventually, until then just act like everything’s normal. Don’t act hurt, rejected or angry. Babies have no concept of other peoples emotions and it will just confuse them. Keep trying to interact and play with them, just be the same mum you’ve always been and things will fall back into balance again soon enough. Act normal; fun, happy, calm. Your baby will come around to you, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent or that you’ll never have a great relationship. You might find your baby starts to prefer you as they get older! Like I said earlier, even babies can flip flop between “favourite” parents.
My Baby Prefers Other People
This one is easy to explain. Our babies see us all the time. Sure, it doesn’t make it any less hurtful when Junior’s got nothing but smiles and giggles for Great Aunt Wanda and can barely keep eye contact with you – their parent – but it’s more common than you’d think.
As parents, we’re a constant in our babies lives. We’re just there. All the time. When people that aren’t always there are suddenly there, it’s so interesting to our little ones! It doesn’t mean they don’t love us, it’s just that, unfortunately, as parents, we’re just not that interesting!
It’s hard when you see a lot of other babies reeling away from strangers or distant family members and yours just loves it. You feel like you’ve done something wrong, that he hates you, but it isn’t true. Some babies love strangers, others hate them. If you’ve got a baby that loves strangers, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or prefers other people at all!
Also, like the above, you may find this all changes as they grow. They’ll suddenly come over shy and clingy when they’re around people they don’t know. So, enjoy your baby being social with people they don’t know because it probably won’t last!
All in all, they do love you. Feelings of rejection are so, so common in parenthood. It’s not true though, it’s just how we feel. Your baby loves you like no one else in this world does. Even if sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it.