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Published on February 12th, 2017 | by Tae

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The Dreaded In-Laws!

For many of us, we don’t realise how much an impact our partners family is going to have on our entire lives, until you have kids. By then it’s way too late and your in-laws are in your life for good. If you have a great relationship with your In-Laws and managed to find your way into a chilled out family, good for you! But this is a piece about Dreaded In-Laws. They’re often filled with cute criticisms masked as “friendly advice!” and if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s that.

Now, before I come across as bitter or nasty, I’m all for advice! When I ask for it. What the “Dreaded In-Law” gives is not advice. It’s what they would do if they were the parent to your child. It’s completely unwarranted, unnecessary and extremely rage inducing. I might have some issues of my own to work through, but when this “friendly advice!” rears it’s ugly head again and again, it makes me question myself as a mother. It makes me feel incompetent and stupid. Back when I was a new mother, it felt quite damaging. The level of sheer interference some Grandparents will display is quite nauseating at times. They always have something to say.

dreaded inlaws

Image Credit; komposita

Of course, my own parents aren’t perfect, far from. But there’s a sense of control over what interactions you can have with your own parents and you can quite easily set boundaries with them. You’ve known them your whole life after all. With Dreaded In-Laws, it’s taken out of your hands. Especially when what bugs you, doesn’t bug your partner. But that’s a whole can of worms for another day.

As I said, my family isn’t perfect. It has me wondering if; when you become a Grandparent, do you suddenly just feel like you’re omniscient? Like you’re the baby whisperer and all future children in this family should all be raised exactly the same way? The way YOU would raise them and everyone else is wrong? Is this a thing that actually happens? Because the “friendly advice!” brigade of Grandparents on both sides just astounds me. It really does.

I hope if I ever become a Grandparent, I can pat my child and their partner on the back and say “Hey, you’re doing a really great job. I’m proud of you.” and if they ask for genuine advice, I’ll give them my two cents. Then again, if the omniscient, friendly advice Grandparent is just a naturally occurring phenomenon, I’ll be a Dreaded In-Law myself.

 

 

 

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